So I had a shower thought today and I came up with this idea in about 15 minutes. As a social experiment in some dark and twisted way I would like to build a house that embraces all the frustrations of a normal dwelling and multiply it by a 100 times. I would then rent the house out for free just to see how long someone would live there until they snapped and left. Here are some of my ideas that I came up with.
Kitchen – the kitchen would be laid out with a huge amount of counter space and cupboards in a very narrow room. On top of this counter top there would be a sink that encompasses the entirety of the counters surface only leaving about a foots worth of space to prep for cooking, placing dirty dishes, etc. There will be no dishwasher so you have to wash all of the dishes by hand in this giant sink where the faucet will be on one side of the room and the drying rack will be on the other. The stove will work normally but will only have one large pot of cream of broccoli soup that is heated to a simmer. This stove will then be turned off automatically on a timer and will not be allowed to turn back on for another two days forcing the inhabitant to eat cold soup. Also each eating utensil will be just forks, no knife, no spoon, just forks. Lastly, for now, the cupboards will not fit the bowls the inhabitant is eating out of considering since the cupboards will only have about five inches of depth to them. This is so the inhabitant cannot stack the dishes/ bowls properly after cleaning and drying.
Hallways- Each hallway will be extremely narrow, about a foot and a half of width. Along the walls of the hallways will be a series of door handles, door knobs, and coat hooks to catch you pants, belt loops, and shirts on. At the base of the hallway on the baseboard there will be three inch protrusions to stub your toes on. Also, there is no light provided in the hallways.
Bedroom – The bedroom will be simple but equally annoying. You will receive two blankets which are both four feet long and about two and a half feet wide. This is so the inhabitant cannot successfully block out a draft without curling up into an uncomfortable position. The inhabitant will also receive a huge California king sized bed with one flat pillow. The room itself will be air conditioned in the summer to a temperature of 55 degrees and turned off in the winter. Heat will be provided in the winter via an outdated gas heater that has water in the pipes. This will cause the heater to make a loud CLANG each time it is turned on and continue for a few minutes. The room itself will be the exact size of the bed save for a small space for the heater and a pathway to the door to get out. The door opens inwards.
Bathroom- The bathroom is simple. Each shower will be equipped with hot and cold water appropriately so that the inhabitant can obtain proper hygiene. With that in mind the toilet will be rigged to flush every 45 seconds while the shower is in use. The sink in the bathroom will have only hot water in the summer and cold water in the winter. During Autumn and Spring the temperature will vary each day. Lastly, the towel, depending on the persons waist and or bust size, will be a size lower so the inhabitant cannot successfully wrap the towel around their waist or body.
Living Room- The living room will have a couch, TV, and a remote control. The couch will be velvet so that it retains the occupiers heat and will only have two feet wide area of sitting space with three feet of length to stretch out on. The TV will be placed at the highest point on the wall and will constantly have subtitles written in either Spanish, German, or French during their programming which the inhabitant cannot turn off. Also, the subtitles language will vary each day randomly. The TV’s volume will also constantly be set to low and the remote will have low power cheap batteries.
Other Details – The inhabitant will be allowed three sets of clothes to their choosing with a few select personal effects such as bathroom instruments, required medication, and their wallet. Their will be no internet access. Cell phone service will be available but it will be in the far corner of the bathroom inside of the tub where the inhabitant will receive one bar of reception. Each room will contain one land-lined red phone and fire extinguisher in case of emergencies. The inhabitant is free to leave any time they wish.
Its a crazy idea but imagine all the little annoyances you encounter in your daily living all balled up and built in one house. How long do you think you could stick around?